"i'm happy just to be friends, even if i would be happier otherwise ha. you're a very pretty girl and it was nice to meet someone who was well read (much more so than i) and you're someone i felt like i could easily relate to. whenever you do start looking for that some guy at MC/GT is gunna be very lucky and i'm not just saying that to be "the bigger man" and i'm not exaggerating, that is sincere and from the heart."
"ya know, i find it really weird that i had no idea who you were until last night. we have been talking since then. haha :)"

i promise that the one day where i find the person who fits my personality, who really really can't figure out what they would do with their life if i wasn't around, and makes me completely and irrevocably happy; i will not act this way. i won't be so fickle or stand-offish and i will make sure that i make you happy, because i've hurt too many people.
i've had so many opportunities to be happy, but i keep turning them down because they want me to step out of my comfort zone and i feel like they're not worth that effort.
damn me, damn me, damn me.

i am scarlett o'hara and you know what happened to her? her sister in-law died because she didn't care enough to be a friend to her, she lost rhett because she didn't know she loved him, her daughter died because she wasn't a good mother, and she made enemies out of all of her remaining friends.
damn me, damn me, damn me.

the only thing that is making me happy right now is the weather and that seems to be as fickle as my shitty little heart.
i'm sorry.