i hate this feeling. i do not feel right with the world. i am angry and vengeful.
i think my depression is kicking in.
i feel like no one likes me and that my father cares about stephanie more than me. he feels the need to make conversation with her, but she doesn't deserve it. i feel so selfish, like i want to rip my father away from her and take him back to the times when he was happy.
i want to cry and i want to be a big baby because i don't feel like i'm going to be happy for a while.
i feel like cody and his girlfriend are going to stay together and jasmyn and cameron are going to be happy and that i'll be stuck watching their happiness and i'll have to move on yet again.
i don't want to move on anymore. i don't want to have reasons to move on.
i want attention from my father.

i just want to cry. i say these things and then part of me doesn't mean them. but the cold-hearted, selfish, i'm-only-looking-out-for-myself part of me says screw that, you mean it.
i need something to break in my favor.